september 4th (im back)

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Hello again. I have to say I've missed you guys.
But alas my life kinda sucks at the moment.
My sister almost dies< I get diegnosed (?) with clinical depression< and my boyfriend wont even help me through it < AND my dog of 12 years died. Yay freaking me. (that was sarcasm by the way).

okay so enough of that crap. I want to talk to you guys about depression in case you've lived in a hole for your whole life.
1) It is a illness in the brain that effects ones self esteme, feelings, and emotions.
2) It makes your emotions get mixed up or way to strong.
     like imagine if you just got a laptop and instead of being excited, you wanted to crawl in a hole and die you were so sad ( no I did not get a new laptop-but a new computer)
     Or if your bouyfriend say he wants to go to bed after you ask him a serious question and you get so angry you sit in your bed and lie awake stewing for five hours (that night I got about two hours of sleep)
3) It leads to stress, insanity, low self esteme, harm to ones self, losing everyone you care about, and/or death (don't worry I'm not dead yet guys----or am i???)
4) Ways to help:
a)Just be there to listen (My therapist Dr. Miller says that Just letting a person get things off their chest can make things a whole lot easier.
b)Don't sympathize. It pisses me off so much when people come up to me and say "I know how you feel" or "You could BLAH BLAH BLAH". You do not know how I feel. You do not know what to do. I'm sorry to admit it but unless you have depression you have no freaking clue what It feels like, therefore you have no way of sympathizing. Also don't tell me things to try and do, because I've probly already done that. And I'm still depressed. So it failed.
c) Phyisical touch is one way to ease some of the emotions (or at least turn them good). Dr. M says that it would be very comforting if someone like (i dont know, MAYBE??) my boyfriend, would just hold me or comfort me or just be there with me. Because just holding my hand or hugging me once in a great while instead of ignoring me for all that i'm worth is really going to help me through things. Right now he (and everyone else) is not doing that.
d) Leave us alone if we're acting quiet and mopey and there is absolutely to way for you to help. You look SO stupid when you are contstantly asking me if I'm okay or why I'm acting depressed. BECAUSE I AM. DUH. That is so stupid so ask that. It just makes people feel like a total object when you do that.
e) But DO NOT IGNORE US. We already feel like nothing. We dont need a further reason to want to dissapear. Tell us we're good at something or that we look good or that something we did in our messed up worlds we did right.
f) Do not yell at us for being sad or angry or whatever. We can't help it unlike you. It is especially bad if...
       For the past year I've faked being happy so I wouldn't bring everyone else down. I told people what I was doing and they said I should do that. Later, they yell at me because i'm crankyt and sad and mad all the time. WELL NO F****** DUH! You SAID to be ME. There it is. Deal with it.

And for gosh's sake do not do things to MAKE us in a bad mood. You will get your head bitten off.

Ha HA Ha Wow that was long so in case you didn't get the point of that, Loook it up on google or something. This is why I'm so wacko. Deal with it.
Ha I made a funny.
<3 Lux